Creating a shared vision: you and your partner coming together around money.
You hear a lot about how you need a retirement plan, an investment strategy. You need your money to work for you. You need estate planning and college planning. But there is a foundation underneath all those things. A personal and shared understanding of how you approach money.
Understanding where our individual attitudes around money stem from can be difficult. Then when two people get together and start talking about money, there can be collisions that seem to come from nowhere and there’s no idea on how to not crash.
Learning how money is difficult in our relationships is knowledge and that knowledge gives us power. One partner may have grown up in a household was talking about debt was taboo. Another may have grown up in a household where frivolous spending was simply not allowed or frivolous spending was shamed. So your partner might feel ashamed each time they want to buy something they “don’t really need.”
Learning about our own and our partner’s money history and money stories is an important step toward developing a shared vision for money in your relationship. Our relationship with money starts during childhood. It is a blend of family background and your unique take on the role it played in your happiness. A lot of the emotions around money defy logic and are raw and loaded with control, power, and hidden meaning. It is a good step to delve into that hidden meaning.
Creating a shared financial vision for all your special life moments.
With an understanding of your money histories, creating a retirement plan or an investment strategy can become challenging. As a step toward retirement planning, consider trying a few things with your partner to move toward a shared vision for money:
- Both of you write down your first money memory. Talk about those memories and what they meant to you. Ask yourselves if the “take-away” from those money memories still circulates today in your approach to money.
- Both of you write down how your parents approached money. Consider how your feelings about money and the conflicts you have with your partner might be influenced by your parents’ approaches.
- Consider how each of you make financial decisions. What influences you in these decisions?
The more transparent we can become about our money in our relationships the stronger we will be. Understanding our history and our triggers around money is a good start.
And be sure, if you’d like support on developing your shared vision, please contact us. We are here to be your trusted advisors when it comes to living your best financial lives. Contact us to let us work with you to create a plan for your financial future.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax or legal advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific situation with a qualified tax or legal advisor.